Monday, July 3, 2017
If you read my last blog post, you know I have been battling the demons my entire life. I have been damaged by nasty comments about my weight and appearance (STATURE) since childhood. I have to throw God in here with this post because I truly feel He is leading me to healing. If you have time, pull up a chair and keep reading.
So, if you know me in real life, you probably know I am retiring this summer (this month) after 29 years of teaching. To those who taught with me or whom I taught, I probably came across as loud and self-assured, and perhaps even brash. The classroom was *my* domain; it was comfortable, and I was in charge. Most of my former students will admit that about me if nothing else.
However, in my personal life, at the core of who I am, I am an introvert and very shy. I know now it stems from being damaged from a lifetime of being bullied about my weight and stature, from family, colleagues, and even strangers. God's timing is everything. Forgive me if I ramble, but I'm writing as I think with this post.
Yesterday, as I was leaving the house to go to my parents' house, I felt God speak to me and say, "You're not going to spend the rest of your life in the house." My parents are 86 and 89, so if the world keeps spinning, I could live another 30 years or so, based on my genetic pool. Many people have asked me, "What are you going to do when you retire? Won't you get bored?"
Some people know I have side jobs; I'm Nanny G to Charlie the doodle and kitties Harper and Radley (from To Kill a Mockingbird), plus a yet-to-be-acquired lab pup; I'm also a tutor and mentor with an online tutoring company. So, technically I have three part-time jobs. Mentoring requires specific work, but when I want within certain time frames; tutoring is optional, so I can do as much or as little as I want, up to a total of 28 hours a week for both jobs. The thing is, all of these jobs are done alone, wherever I have an internet connection.
But, the title of this post is "Rebirth," so let me get to that. Back in March or April I was following one of my favorite bloggers, (well, she doesn't blog any longer) on Instagram and FB. She is the young woman who made all my poppy headbands years ago. But, we had never met. Anyway, I found out she was a distributor for this amazing lipstick called LipSense through the SeneGence company. It's an international company, but it's not well-known in SC because it's still in its growth stage. Anyway, to say I got hooked is an understatement.
(6 colors and 5 glosses)
Fast forward to Memorial Day weekend. I think I placed my last order with Ilene this weekend because we finally met after all these years when she delivered the product. (Her parents live about 5 minutes from me.) I got to thinking. It is ridiculously low cost ($55) to join the company for the distributor discount. I could either keep paying her full price, or I could join for the distributor discount. To me, it was a no-brainer. I knew I was going to join; I just didn't know when.
Fast forward to last week. Again, God is funny about timing. I had the feeling early last week that I should give it a shot at selling LipSense because I love it so much, and it would be great fun to play with makeup and get paid. Yet......there was that DEMON of self-doubt that kept cropping its ugly head up (the devil, actually, because fear is not of the Lord). I prayed about it, and I asked others to pray.
I "went to" online training one day after God opened that day up to me to do so. This is not about the money for me; yes, the money will be nice; however, more important than that are these goals God has put on my heart:
1. Get OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE, GINGER! This is WAYYYY out of my comfort zone. I even went live in my FB group GingerLips for the first time this weekend.
2. HELP other women who may be having the same self-confidence issues I have dealt
with my entire life.
So, if you are reading this, and think you want to hear more about this incredible lipstick that stays on for up to 18 hours (I even slept in it to test it.), or if you are dealing with self-esteem issues, look up my FB group, GingerLips. I'd be glad to add you.
So, back to what God told me yesterday: I am NOT going to spend the rest of my life in the house. It is no coincidence that I am retiring now, and He presented this opportunity to me now. (If I had discovered this last year, I would never have considered it.) There is still teaching to do, and this cocoon is breaking open.