Update on Mother

For those who know me well, you know my mother has been under hospice care since March 1 of this year.  When she came home, she was placed in a hospital bed in her dining room.  She was hooked to oxygen, and her fingernails were purple.  Fast forward to last week.  She is now out of hospice care and under care of a small lowcountry home health care company.

Back in September my dad hired a part-time sitter to help Mother get up with the walker and to help him out some to allow him to come and go and to do light housekeeping.  She strengthened Mother's legs enough that she has been sitting up for hours each day for over a month.  Hospice released her last week.

Now, a physical therapist will come a few days a week to strengthen her legs to hopefully have her more mobile.  She is a worrier by nature and is worried her long-term health insurance will stop paying for the part-time sitter.  Of course, if she gets mobile enough, they won't need the sitter any more.

When she went to see her family doctor last week to get his ok for this new company to take over, he did not recognize her; he recognized my dad.  She has lost so much weight.  Once he remembered her, he told her she was lucky to be alive; that's how sick she was.

Degenerating Before My Eyes

I am bewildered, perplexed, confused; I really don't know which adjective is most apropos.  My country is degenerating before my very eyes.  Our Presidential primaries have not even begun, but what I am seeing disturbs me to the core.  I begin this by saying I am not a registered democrat or republican; I have voted both ways.  However, I am disheartened (and all the aforementioned adjectives) that the republican front-runner is a racist.  Not only is he a racist, but he flaunts it...an "in your face" brashness that demeans anyone other than white men.  Yes, I said he demeans anyone.other.than.white.men.  He disdains Hispanics, Muslims, women....anyone.other.than.white.men.  It disturbs me because in spite of this, or perhaps "because" of this, he is the front-runner.  

I was talking to my good North Carolina friend this evening, and he broached something I had not thought of---hadn't wanted to ponder.  This "candidate" is so popular because he has brought out the hidden racism in millions of people.  He is their candidate of choice.  This same friend said that contrary to uniting the country, the election of the first African-American President brought racism out of the closet (my paraphrase/interpretation of his words).  Where are we as Americans when a rabid candidate spewing hatred against all the above groups is a major party's current run-away favorite?

Another scary thought is that "if" he is the republican nominee, millions of self-professed "Christians" will vote for him..... simply because they would NEVER entertain voting for a democrat of any flavor. 

So, through this circumlocution, I come to this point:

If Jesus Christ were alive on this earth today, what would he say to this candidate and his millions of followers?  What would Jesus say about the hate-filled speech?  What would he say to the millions of alleged "Christians" who are following this man or will vote for him if he is the nominee...simply because they would NEVER vote for a democrat?   Would he rebuke them and say, "Depart from me; I never knew you," or "If you vote for him, don't do so under the guise of following me"? 

Getting Started

Some of you may want to begin helping others in a personal way,  beyond giving money to charities, but you may not know how to start.  It can be overwhelming to think of what to do.  The main thing I can say is to keep your eyes and ears open for *need*.  If you have a heart for helping those in need, God *will* place the need before you.  The key is to have your ears and eyes tuned in to listen, hear, and see.  

Some people carry Ziploc bags of personal hygiene products in their trunks to give out when they see a homeless person or others in need on the street.  Others carry nonperishable foods in their trunk for the same purpose.  When we think of buying food for the needy, it does not have to be cumbersome.  I have utilized the Dollar Tree, B1G1F offers at BiLo and Publix, and now a discount grocery store in my parents' town.  I begin with any protein products, then I look for bulk rice, canned fruit and veggies, and some treats for the children.  Now, let me relate a true story of how God placed a need in my face.

A few months ago a colleague of mine down the hall brought a girl to my room to eat something the colleague had brought from home.  She knew I had no students at the time.  When she called me into the hallway as the sixth grader was eating, she asked if she could periodically bring her down to eat.  Then, she related the child's home situation of the step-dad being out of work due to an injury.  The girls would get two meals a day at school, but there was not much for the weekends and at night.  Bingo!  God sent her to me for me to fulfill that need.  

Now, some people may discount that notion.  However, that was the one and only time Y has been sent to my room to eat.  That was simply a time God used to alert me to a need.  Once he shows you, He will show you what to do. Giving to world missions is fine, and I know churches who focus on that.  They tend to think homeless and poor people here are lazy, but I digress into another post topic. 
However, there are people amongst us every day who need help...truly need help.
Let's open our eyes and hearts to see.

Why are we here?

Why are we here--as in "Why are we on this earth"?  Some would say we are here to have as much fun and get as much as we can while we are here.  Very selfish, self-absorbed people feel this way. I used to wonder why I was born.  It has only become clear to me in the last few years that we are here to help others.  This is a harsh, cruel world, and it is just getting worse.  At times I feel I am on the outside looking in.  I see people obsessed with the latest gadgets and getting, getting, getting.  A couple of weeks ago there was a picture making the rounds on Facebook of a woman's Christmas tree that appeared to have all of Walmart under it.  She bragged on how all of that loot was for her handful of kids.  She defended her gluttony by saying she bought gifts throughout the year to get to this point.  So??  What??  That makes it alright?  There are kids going without Christmas gifts this year, and there are entire families homeless.  THAT is reality.  Last week our social worker told me that some of the angels on our angel tree were getting only what we provided; their mothers or families had nothing else to give them. So, while it takes that woman's kids hours to open their presents, there are those with nothing or those with nothing beyond what someone provided for the family.

Today I read of a Dominos pizza delivery woman in Minnesota who started a Gofundme page for a homeless man who was living in a camper with no electricity or water.  That woman, who probably works paycheck to paycheck herself, was the impetus for that man now having a new home funded through donations to that website.  That is why we are here--to do what we can for the least among us.  For, as Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." (Matthew 25:40)

Christmases Past and Present

I find that I am living in the past a lot; I know it has to do with my mother's illness this year, as well as the fact that my father is now 88 years-old.  More and more I think about how this life is so transitory.  So, while there are things in my life right now that would be heartbreaking if I stewed there, I dwell on the past a lot....reverting back to my childhood, if even momentarily, comforts.

So, it is not surprising that I have been thinking about Christmases past.  When I was a child in the early to mid-70s, we had a white artificial tree with some (now) antique ornaments as well as ornaments I made.  (My current tree still has those handmade ornaments.)  To me, it was magical--like instant snow.  It was under that tree for a couple of years that two special dolls were born to me.  I still have them boxed in my garage, and they may make an appearance here later this month.  As a child, I didn't get a ton of toys, but what I did get was special.  I spent months pouring over the Sears Wish Book, marking things I would like Santa to bring.  My mother and I made Christmas cookies with cookie cutters, and I had a joyous time frosting them.  Those memories are priceless.  That was such a simpler time. 

Years later, when I was on my own and even after my son was born, we went to a tree farm and cut our tree.  Both in Walterboro and here there was a tree farm within miles of my house.  Then, several years ago, it got to be too much trouble finding a tree that we could get into the stand and have it *stay*.  So, a few years ago I set out to find an artificial tree.  I came across a retro white one in Big Lots, I think.  It is perfect for me.  This year it is just me, so the tree is all that is up.  This season of my life is not my own; I spend each weekend travelling back and forth to my parents' house to visit and help them.  As a result, this year there will be no international Santas, no village....just this retro tree filled with my homemade ornaments and a few special ones throughout the ages.  As long as I can, I will have a tree....that is really all I want.  The older I get, the more I want simplicity and solitude.  That will make my holiday.

Miracles DO Happen

When my mother came home from ICU March 1, she had congestive heart failure, and the nurse told me how long she had was anyone's guess.  Hospice took over.  Now, a few days before Christmas she is slated to be removed from hospice and transitioned to home health care.  Both provide monitoring by Medicare, but my parents will have to provide her personal hygiene products, which they can do.  Next week Dad and my brother will get her in the car to go to her family doctor, Dr. Haynes, for him to sign off on this.  It will be her first time out of the house since Februaury.

ANOTHER MIRACLE is that my sister in law has a thyroid issue, not Alzheimer's.  Because of insurance issues, several years ago a doctor did not thoroughly test her and labelled her as having had a stroke.  That led to a host of other issues with doctors, but a neurologist here in Beaufort finally did an MRI, and there is nothing wrong with her brain!

Two Christmas miracles .  I await a third.

Gratitude

Gratitude---being grateful for what I have and the blessings God has bestowed....

I used to be the most negative person I know.  When I was in my 20s,  I believed that if the worst could happen, it would.  I can't pinpoint exactly when I began to change, but it happened after my cancer in 2007, I think.  That and the sub sequent surgeries and chemo grew my faith.  It has gradually increased until now when it is in full-blown mode. 

At this point in my life, I can not tolerate negativity.  I would say I have made a 360 degree spin around.  My life is not without its problems, which very few people know about, but it is a blessed life.  I look at people I know who have some of the most plum positions at work, and they are ungrateful, complaining people.  I just don't get it.

At this point, I am looking at retirement in 18 months......18 months.  Up until this past summer, I didn't imagine it would be possible for financial decisions I made 17 years ago.  Then, God arrived on the scene, and He arrived in a BIG way.  Aside from setting me up financially to retire, He has blessed me in so many ways:

1.  I get to spend quality time every weekend with my parents, who are 84 and 88.  Dad has been blessed exponentially, and Mother is even making inroads in her health.
2.  I have a plum position at work where I a now teach 3rd-5th graders.  I am still in awe of God's sense of humor in handing me this position.  Me?  with 3rd graders?  Who would have thought?!  Not me in a gazillion years!  :)
3.  I can impact people at work (big and little) with my baking.  He has given me a passion for baking, and dare I say, a gift?
4.  I am in good health, and so are my family members.
5.  I have 3, yes 3, part-time jobs.  If I plan right, I can work them all in the same day with my regular job.  Never in a bajillion years would I have believed I could work at home from my computer in my pajamas in front of the fire with my catavisors (supervisors).

This is somewhat of a rambling, but it is what is on my mind right now.

God is soooo   good; I do not understand ungratefulness.

 

 

Faith and Negativity

This life is hard enough without my being inundated with negative people, naysayers.  I don't divulge much about my life and problems with many people for two reasons:  there are people who ask but really don't care; all they are interested in is gossip--- and there are naysayers--people who claim to have faith but look at the immediate circumstances and don't see a future of change.  I will not have those kinds of people in my bubble.  I don't need to be brought down by either type of people.  I know who my God is and what *HE* is capable of-----and *HIS* capabilities are limitless.  I am done trying to prove that to anyone.

Total Reliance

I just left my Saturday visit to BiLO.  My third graders won the monthly competition, so I had to get ingredients for their chosen prize:  an Oreo cake, not cupcakes.  As I was getting what I needed from the baking section, I noticed a sale on chocolate sprinkles and peppermint sugar.  $2 a bottle---not a big deal, except they were "extras," not necessary.  I thought of Lucas, who had requested chocolate sprinkles.  The peppermint sugar would go well with my planned Christmas cupcakes.  I said a little prayer to God to make sure He provides for what I need if I make this little splurge.  He knows my paychecks will take a hit for the n ext year. On the way home, it hit me:  this is what He wants.  He doesn't want Sundays only+ He wAnts Monday through Saturday, too.  This is what a relationship with Him means.  He wants us talking  to him over chocolate sprinkles for a brown-haired little 9 year-old named Lucas, too.

Childhood Memories

Can you see the two huge pine trees about where the grass is missing in this picture?  You can't?  I can.  When I look at this site in my parents' backyard, in view of the bathroom window, I am transported back to the early-mid 1970s.  There are two large pine trees and tucked between them is a camper shell---blue---my playhouse after Dad decided to sell the truck.  This was where the idea to become a teacher was birthed, I suppose.  (though I did NOT go to college for teaching)  I had a play kitchen set and dining table out there.  I would line the dolls and stuffed animals up and "teach" them.  Mother has told me she could hear me from the bathroom window (In those days we had 1 bathroom for 5 of us.)

To the right of where I stood to take this picture are two graves:

My first two cats are buried here by the garage.  The top one, Fluffy Marie's, is not legible because of algae that has grown on it.  This one, Priscilla Mae ("Prissy") was my very first cat I got at age 12 when my poodle died.  Prissy's mother was my paternal grandmother's barn cat.  My dad made these headstones for them, and I carved their names and dates into the concrete.

 

My parents bought this house before I was 2; they have lived in it since I was 4.  Someday, too soon for me no matter when, all of this will be gone-----sold.  So, I am capturing the memories while I can.